Harry: Hermione, what are you doing?
Hermione: (jumps) Oh, Harry, it’s you. You startled me.
Harry: Is that a time-turner in your hand?
Hermione: What? No! Well...I’m just holding on to it for Professor McGonogall...
Ron: Oi! What’s this about a time-turner?
Hermione: (jumps again) Ron! Don’t scare me like that!
Ron: C’mon, let’s see it then. I never got to go with you when you went to save Sirius – thanks for that, by the way.
Harry: You’re not still harping on about that, are you?
Ron: Hey! I wanted to save Sirius too. You just left me –
Harry: Your leg was broken
Ron: - with Madam Pomfrey, in the hospital wing, alone. What if I’d died?
Hermione: (deadpan) I dread to think.
Harry: Look, just tell us why you have a time-turner.
Hermione: Well...with part two releasing soon, I thought, maybe, it’d be a good idea to revisit some of the best parts of the series. “Harry Potter through the ages”, if you will.
Ron: (disgusted) “Harry Potter through the ages”?
Harry: I like this idea.
Ron: You would, Harry. I bet you have posters of yourself on your wall. Had any nice chats with Lockhart, recently?
Harry: Shut up, Ron. I’d rather have posters of me than the Chudley Cannons. When are you gonna give up on them? They’re never going to win -
Hermione: When did this turn into Quidditch talk? Are you going to come with me or not!
Ron: So...where are we going first?
Hermione: I was thinking about our first day at Hogwarts. What do you think?
Ron: Oh great. The day you told me I had dirt on my nose. Nice, Hermione, thanks.
Hermione: Oh get over it, Ron, it was years ago.
Ron: That’s not the poin-
Harry: Maybe we should just pick somewhere else.
Ron: (sniggering) You only say that because you don’t want to remember how short you were.
Harry: I was NOT short.
Ron: (pulls out a picture) Face facts, Harry. Blimey, look at you! You were a right midget!
Harry: (grabs at photo) Where did you get that?!
Ron: Colin Creevy. You want to autograph it for him? He begged me to-
Harry: SHUT UP.
Hermione: (sighs) If you two don’t stop bickering, I’m going to Stupefy you.
Ron: (shuffles back) Bit harsh, Hermione!
Hermione: Will you please just pick somewhere else!
Harry: What about the day we first met Aragog? You weren’t there for that, Hermione, it was quite the experience...
Ron: Don’t even joke about that, Harry.
Harry: Are you thinking of all those hundreds of thousands of spiders we saw that wanted to eat us?
Harry: Acromantula live for ages, don’t they Hermione? I bet there are still loads in the Forbidden Forest. They track sent pretty well too, don’t they? They might remember ours!
Ron: Harry, mate, seriously...
Harry: Hey, maybe we should go back and visit! Oh wait, they don’t even allow Hagrid in the Hollow now Aragog’s dead. They’d definitely eat us alive –
Ron: HARRY I’LL GET GINNY TO BAT BOGEY HEX YOU IF YOU DON’T BLOODY STOP!
Ginny: (appears) Like I’d take orders from you, Ron.
Ron: Blimey, when did you get here?
Ginny: I apparated. I passed my test, remember? First time too, unlike someone I know...
Ron: And what are you laughing at, Hermione?
Hermione: Me? Nothing, nothing at all.
Harry: Hey, Ginny, what time are we meeting in Diagon Alley?
Ginny: Four. I gotta go Harry, Fleur wants me to help her arrange flowers (grimaces)
Harry: (kisses Ginny) Have fun with that! Try not to hex her.
Ginny: (smiles and disapparates)
Ron: I don’t like seeing my sister snog people, Harry. I don’t like it at all.
Hermione: Are we EVER going to decide on somewhere?
Harry: Oh yeah. Er, what about the day we found out about the Deathly Hallows?
Ron: You mean at old Xeno’s house? I dunno, he was a nutter.
Hermione: He was not a nutter, Ron.
Ron: Hermione, he tried to hand us over to Death Eaters and then we almost got BLOWN UP. Nutter if I ever saw one...
Hermione: He was worried about Luna –
Ron: - Plus, he got that story wrong. The Tale of the Three Brothers was at “midnight”, not “twilight”.
Hermione: I was the one telling the story!
Ron: You got it wrong then! It was definitely midnight.
Hermione: Just because that’s what your mother used to tell you –
Ron: What’s wrong with what my mother told me?
Hermione: Well, contrary to popular belief, Ron, your mother isn’t ALWAYS right –
Ron: Don’t insult my mother!
Hermione: I’m not insulting her, I’m just saying –
Ron: What do you know anyway? You used to fancy Lockhart!
Hermione: (blushes) What has that got to do with anything?!
Ron: I don’t know, Hermione, maybe because he turned out to be a nutter too! Not a very good judge of character are you?
Hermione: (blushes more, gets angry) Two words, Ron. Lavender Brown.
Ron: (goes pale) That was...not my fault.
Hermione: Not your fault? NOT YOUR FAULT?
Ron: Well, you know...and she...then I...it was just...yeah!
Hermione: Ron, you insensitive, idiotic flobberworm, you –
Harry: WILL YOU PLEASE STOP ARGUING?
Hermione: (flattens hair) Harry’s right, we need to actually pick a location.
Ron: (sniffs) What about the Triwizard Tournament?
Harry: Good one, Ron! Yeah, let’s go back to the First Task. I want to see what I looked like flying around that dragon...
Hermione: You were really good, Harry. Even Viktor said you were a great flyer, and he’s a professional.
Ron: Oh Viktor, said that, did he?
Harry: (sighs) Ron...
Ron: And what IS Vicky doing these days? Do you still keep in touch?
Hermione: (raises head) As a matter of fact, we do.
Ron: Oh really. Well, that’s great, that is. I’m sure you and Vicky just write fantastic letters to each other –
Hermione: What is your problem, Ron? He’s just a pen pal. And don’t call him Vicky!
Ron: I’ll call him whatever I like! I can’t believe you. Still fraternising with the enemy...
Hermione: He is not the enemy! He never was the enemy!
Ron: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s just pick another place.
Hermione: Don’t change the subject –
Harry: (loudly) What about the time Umbridge was taken away by centaurs?
Ron: What? When was this?
Harry: Oh yeah, forgot you weren’t there.
Ron: Oi, why do I always miss out on the good stuff? Why is it always me? Bad stuff is always happening to me! Remember that time I drank that poison?
Harry: Oh yeah, Ron, bad stuff is alwaaays happening to YOU.
Ron: It is! There was that time I broke my wand when we crashed into the Whomping Willow –
Harry: And the time Voldemort tried to kill you – oh wait, that was ME.
Ron: - and the time burped up all those slugs...
Hermione: This isn’t “The Ron Show”! We’ve all had bad things happen to us! Can we please move on?
Ron: Name one time, Hermione, when something bad happened to you.
Hermione: (fumes) I can think of quite a few, Ron.
Ron: Riiight. Go on then.
Hermione: I seem to recall turning into a CAT when the Polyjuice Potion went wrong. Is that bad enough for you?
Ron: (chuckles) Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Bloody hell, that’s funny when you look back on it...
Hermione: It is not funny!
Harry: Guys, we’ve run out of time.
Harry: I mean, we have to go.
Hermione: But we never got to visit anywhere!
Ron: Well you spent so long droning on about where to go –
Hermione: Don’t you dare blame me for this, Ronald Weasley. If it weren’t for you –
Harry: (whispers) I think she’s serious, Ron, she used your full name...
Ron: You’re right mate, let’s get out of here.
Harry and Ron: (disapparate)
Hemione: - then we would have been able to see lots of places and – (looks around) Harry? Ron? Where are you?
Hermione: (pulls wand out of robes and brandishes it like a sword) HARRY POTTER AND RONALD WEASLEY, WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU WILL BE IN SO. MUCH. TROUBLE!
I don't think I ever want to get on the wrong side of Hermione. She can be pretty scary when she wants to be. I hope you enjoyed that little dialogue between the trio - don't forget to check out my co-hosts' blogs to see what they have in store for you today!
Brodie - Eleusinian Mysteries
Honey - Sniff Books, Not Drugs
Sonia - The Story Queen